Breaking the Chains of Old Identities
Written By Salvatore Iacona
Welcome back!
Who are you? Not the name on your ID, not the job title on your LinkedIn profile, not the role you play in your family or social circle—who are you really?
Many of us go through life clinging to identities that were shaped by our past experiences, our environments, or even other people’s expectations. We live as “the shy one,” “the unreliable one,” “the one who always plays it safe,” or “the one who never follows through.” These labels become chains, keeping us locked in old habits and limiting what we believe is possible for ourselves.
But here’s the truth: You are not your past. You are not your mistakes. You are not the stories you've been told about yourself.
This blog is about breaking free from old identities and stepping into who you truly are—the person you choose to be.
How Old Identities Hold You Back
From a young age, we absorb messages about who we are. Maybe a teacher once said you weren’t "a math person," so you stopped trying. Maybe your family called you "lazy," so you unconsciously lived up to that label. Or maybe you failed at something once and decided, “I guess I’m just not good at this.”
These identities are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe you’re bad at something, you won’t put in the effort to improve. If you see yourself as someone who “always procrastinates,” you’ll continue avoiding action.
The more you reinforce these old identities, the more they define your life.
But here’s the secret: You don’t have to keep being the person you were yesterday.
Who Do You Want to Be?
Instead of letting your past define you, take control of your narrative. Ask yourself:
What kind of person do I want to become?
What identity would serve me better?
If I erased all my past mistakes and limiting beliefs, how would I act differently today?
Maybe you want to be disciplined, but you’ve always identified as someone who lacks self-control. Maybe you want to be fearless, but you’ve always told yourself you’re anxious and cautious. The key is to start acting like the person you want to become—even before you fully believe it.
Breaking Free: How to Rewrite Your Identity
Step 1: Challenge the Old Story
Whenever you catch yourself thinking, “I’m just not that type of person,” ask yourself: Says who? Just because you've been a certain way in the past doesn’t mean you have to be that way forever.
Step 2: Prove It to Yourself
Your identity shifts when your actions change. If you want to be a fit person, don’t just say, “I want to get in shape.” Go for a walk. Do one workout. Prove to yourself, I can do this.
Step 3: Replace Limiting Beliefs with Empowering Ones
Instead of saying:
“I always give up.”
Try:
“I keep pushing forward, even when it’s tough.”
Instead of:
“I’m not good at this.”
Try:
“I’m learning and improving every day.”
Final Thought: You Are Not Stuck
One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is, “This is just who I am.” But that’s not true. You are constantly evolving. Every choice you make today is shaping the person you will be tomorrow.
So if the identity you’ve been living with is holding you back, let it go. You are not your past. You are not your failures. You are who you decide to become.
What’s one old identity you’re ready to break free from?